The Drain

12 days to go.

While waiting for the paint to dry I turned my attention to the hallway and the aftermath of that very unfortunate first day of the project when a pipe burst in an area under the floor behind the sink, in a spot almost impossible to get to, flooding the kitchen below with water and sending a clear message to me that disaster could strike at any time if I would be foolish enough to continue with this project.

I had to tear up the wall and the floor to fix the leak, and it's been torn up ever since, covered with cardboard to keep it out of sight and out of mind until now. Now I have three new floor boards in place--just need to stain and finish them.

Next I turned my attention to the tub drain, which I can access from the master bathroom closet.

But for this I very likely needed help from Cheryl, because no matter how hard my brain considered the situation, I could not devise a strategy for getting the drain piece screwed into the pipe under the tub by myself. Had I attempted this before I put in the shower wall, I could have simply reached through the opening with my right hand and held the pipe with my left.

And even with Cheryl's help, there's a possibility that the drain just won't work and I might need to tear a big hole into the kitchen ceiling (or worse). Predictably, in times like this when the project is at a critical point, Willow and her new assistant manager are absent, covering themselves from responsibility in the event of failure.

So, to punish myself, I struggled to do this by myself, with one hand in the very narrow space under the tub. Then I called Cheryl for help. More later...

What Does Management Do?

What does management do when all the chips are on the table and the big deadline is approaching, like in the last few moments of a big game, with time ticking away and strategy is most important, when the right decision will win or lose the game?

What does management do when everything they've done so far amounts to nothing, when the various supervisors and consultants have come and gone in disgrace, each with a different style to motivate the workers (the people who actually do the work)?

What does management do to validate itself so that it can take credit for the project or, if the project fails, walk away in the end and take no responsibility at all?

What does management do? They send in a ringer.

The ringer is a supernatural creature--pure of heart, kind, sincere, earnest and lovable, the distilled essence of an inner child, a token from management that says please, please, get this job done on time, a sweet baby that must be fed and nurtured for the sake of the company (and don't forget the stockholders).

No more insults from snotty supervisors, no more smart-ass young consultants, no more threats at all. Now we have the ringer.

Yes, our ringer's name is Justice and she is here to make sure that the project ends on time or else, it seems, she may get sacrificed and thrown into a volcano or suffer some other tragedy--it's all in our hands now. We will do the job, because we love her.

Also, I've gathered up the remaining tile to see if I ordered too much. More later...

The Third Tank

Now that the grout sealing is finished (pretty much--I still have some edges to do) and now that I don't have to reach the ceiling any more, I was able to remove the big piece of plywood from the tub. As I suspected, some of the dried mortar and grout had collected underneath. I really need to get the tub refinished but there's no time. I'm in warp drive mode now.

Next I put in the new toilet tank--it's the replacement tank that the company sent because the first tank had a crack, and the crack probably occurred because of my hubris in thinking that fate would not send me a brand new but defective toilet tank. How difficult is it to make a toilet tank?

So this time I turned the tables and actively predicted that things would go wrong. I convinced myself that the tank would leak or decompose or some crazy thing. Then I dared fate to let it happen. Go ahead, I said, and try it.

But this is what a fearful person does--puts on a mock display of courage, contempt and indifference, like some young kid daring a big bully to hit him, while on the inside he's all twisted with that sinking feeling, that sense of impending doom, the certain knowledge that this third tank will also be bad and that I will soak the house with water yet again.

It went in OK. The water slowly filled the cavity, and filled, and filled until it ran into the tank as if I flushed again and again. The water kept coming and would not stop. A broken valve. Really? But this time all I had to do is swap out the valve from the previous tank.

Now I walk by every 15 minutes or so, seriously, to see if the bathroom has filled with water or the tank has exploded for some reason. It's going to be a long night.

The One Percent

On our tile wall, about 99% of the area is tile and the rest is grout. This particular ceramic tile has a glass-like finish that is completely non-absorptive. On the other hand, the grout (the one percent) is uncommonly thirsty and indiscriminate about its thirst.

But get this: Our tile is finished only on the top--its back and sides are red Mexican clay that has been baked in an oven and is as parched and thirsty as a desert lizard in July. A drop of water immediately disappears into this clay.

What does this mean? When we take a shower, water rolls off the tile and is sucked into the grout. The sides of the tile then begins to suck water away from the grout until the insides of the tile can get wet. (This is also called trickle-down, the effects of which are nearly impossible to measure.) So even after the shower is over and the walls are dry on the outside, some of the moisture remains trapped where it cannot be seen and from where it cannot easily evaporate and escape.

Over time this one percent provides the perfect breeding ground for ugly black mold, ruining things for the 99.

The best defense is to soak the grout with silicone sealer, an outrageously expensive substance that is difficult to apply to walls and especially to the ceiling, causing an unavoidable measure of waste. It seems that using a spray bottle and sponge may be the best approach. My Scottish side cannot help worry about the cost, but it must be done.

In any case, the one percent cannot be ignored. It has an insatiable appetite, consuming more than it possibly can use, and with no ability to control itself.

Painting the Trim

I found some white paint in the garage, so I decided to give it a try as the first coat (after two coats of primer). It said vanilla-bean white on the can, which could mean anything, and which turned out to be almost the same color as the walls. I'll need to pick up some trim white at Home Depot.

I don't have any shelves yet and there's no time. To meet the deadline I've got to get back onto the shower and finish sealing the grout and then, finally, hook up the plumbing.

No time even to finish this post. Going to a wedding today...

Days Between

The days between Christmas and New Years Day are a vanishing refuge for us corporate lackeys and peons who once could expect a few days of rest and who now are expected to work and compensate for all the missing employees, those poor souls who have been laid off and who also can't relax this week, due to the stress and worry.

Specifically, I'm not talking about our little Jam, who has shown no interest in helping me with the project or in helping Willow (as a corporate goon underling butt-kisser assistant manager type, whatever it is that they do) and who has shown no regret or anxiety whatsoever at being unemployed and unoccupied at this or any other time of year. The new drop-dead project date has no affect on Jam, nor does any event affect him that occurs within the considerable time and space that is not between him and his food bowl.

So, yes, I am working overtime during this vacation days, working to meet the deadline. I suppose I should give Jam some credit--he doesn't chew up everything in site anymore.

And I should account for the fact that Jam might be destined for an occupation that does not including home remodeling or business. Maybe he is more suited to an artistic life? Or maybe he might be suited for some personal service? I am afraid to get my hopes up too much...

I've got the detail and trim in place around the window, door and shelves. Just a little more carpentry and it will be ready to paint--two coats of primer and then some vanilla-bean white, two coats.

Once the white paint is on and the tape is removed from the tile, there should be an interesting reflection at this point.