Considering the Snake

It's spring and the frogs are back from their winter vacation and they've taken up residence in our koi ponds again, croaking and partying like drunk college students at the beach, and like every year they are spewing froggy eggs and sperm in all directions.

I was curious, seeing all the jumping and splashing going on, so I went outside, expecting them to hide like they've always done in the past, but this time they just ignored me, and they continued to ignore me even after I pulled out my iPhone to take a video.

In this scene, a young Turk is riding on the back of an older (and big-boned, to put it nicely) female, holding on with his sticky front flippers while fending off an even smaller and younger degenerate approaching from the rear, staring ahead with the blank gaze of an opium addict, exhausted no doubt. There must be 50 or 60 of them in the lower pond alone, all doing the same thing.

Viewer discretion is advised. I especially do not recommend this video to anyone who currently has a high opinion of frogs.


Then on my way back upstairs I looked out the front window and noticed a slender garden snake coiled gracefully around a jatropha in the front yard. Solitary, green, beautiful, shy. Not hurting anyone. Not embarrassing the animal kingdom with public displays of group sex. I opened the door and she vanished.