Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Operating the Crane

Today some contractors will descend upon the house to install our new heat pumps, one on the ground just outside the sun room, and one on our second-story flat roof, and for that they'll need a crane.

A crane.

I can think of nothing I'd rather do than sit in the cab of a big crane and pull the levers to move a fat and heavy air conditioner from the ground up into the air, suspended probably by straps and not chains, way up, over the edge of the roof and gently down. Beautiful.

The crane's operator almost certainly will be a man (unfortunately, because I would pay double just to see a woman to do this, and triple if she would wink at me, just once, in the process).

Yes, this guy will be very serious about his job, and he will find one excuse after another to explain why I am not allowed to operate or even sit inside the crane. He will persist even after I point out that I technically am the boss. He will explain that he could lose his crane license, etc., and so there is really no reason to bribe him. Please, sir, he will say, please step away from the crane.

We'll see...


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